Squad-Care: Self-Care, But Not Alone

by Ana Clara Blesso and Lisa Famularo, Center for Career Development, University of Connecticut

We believe that #SquadCare is where it’s at.

Ana and Lisa In the field of higher education especially, there exists a great emphasis on self-care, or activities that deliberately and purposefully support mental, physical, spiritual, professional, or other aspects of wellness in ourselves. There is much to be said for taking time to focus on our wellness, through massages, manicures, vacation, reading for pleasure, enjoying a delicious meal, etc. As we struggle with burnout and taxing situations, however, it can be easy to see how self-care alone might not suffice. Don’t get us wrong – we love a good meal and a pedicure; but to rely solely on ourselves is limiting.

Think of a time when you experienced stress, a difficult life moment, or a professional challenge – you might find that you looked to others for support, advice, and encouragement. In enters squad-care, or collective care: the concept that care is not solely an individual initiative. Instead, it utilizes a network of colleagues, family, friends, and/or allies, to support, encourage, and lift us up during both trying and joyful times.

The benefits and advantages of squad-care can actually be traced back to the world of healthcare. If you think about it, we rely on a variety of different doctors to keep ourselves healthy because their unique areas of expertise go beyond our own; the same idea applies to relying on different members of a squad for different types of support.

Despite its roots in healthcare, we were introduced to the idea of squad-care by Melissa Harris Perry, a writer, professor, and political commentator, who shared a story of how squad-care helped her through a low point in her life (trigger warnings: sexual violence, mental health challenges). Harris Perry argues that it is impossible for us to rely entirely on self-care to support our own well-being; instead, there is no shame in leaning on the mutual and symbiotic relationships we are part of for support when we need it (Harris-Perry, 2017). Other research shows that squad-care can create a community of support that reminds individuals they are not alone in facing challenges (Elizarde-Miller, 2018) and help prevent burnout in the short and long-term (Ilyas & Cordero Velázquez, 2017).

Lisa: As a graduate student, I certainly saw the benefits of leaning on my squad. I processed through challenging grad school moments with a cohort-mate, disconnected from class altogether with a friend who lives across the country during monthly FaceTime chats and a visit during Spring Break, and took advantage of a number of professional opportunities thanks to a wonderful sponsor in my assistantship office (thanks, Ana!). As a new professional, leaning on my squad has also been essential in navigating the many transitions that have come with starting a full-time job, both personally and professionally.

Ana: As a more seasoned professional, I find that utilizing a group of friends and colleagues for professional support is also essential. As I work to navigate higher education systems with colleagues at other universities, avoid burnout by engaging with friends outside of the field, and develop a strategic expertise by gathering feedback from those with unique lived experiences, I often find I need others’ voices to help me develop as a strong professional. I can rely on friends and colleagues to help me celebrate victories and to share more vulnerable moments of stress and challenge.

If you are interested in building a squad, you must be thinking: how do I get started? Well, keep in mind that there is no definition of a perfect squad; your ideal squad depends on your individual circumstances and the type(s) of support you may need. However, as you start to build your squad, you may want to consider including some of these individuals:

  • A mentor: finding a trusted individual who can share in your vulnerable moments and add insight based on their professional experiences can be essential in feeling heard and developing insight
  • A sponsor: being thought of for projects, having your name come up during crucial conversations, and being supported for promotions can be imperative – and a sponsor is an individual who will consistently think of you when opportunities arise
  • A friend: connecting with someone who knows you well outside your world of work can be a great way to disconnect, avoid burnout, and develop a strong identity
  • A mentee: mentoring someone often requires you to reflect on your past experiences, which can be helpful in learning from your past and guiding your future goals
  • A colleague: a coworker who makes you feel seen and heard can be crucial for workplace engagement and enjoyment
  • An ally: when adversity strikes, it can be essential to have an individual in your squad who will stand up for you and advocate for causes that are important to you

Finally, you don’t work in higher education without hearing the word “assessment.” But, hear us out – it’s really helpful to evaluate your squad and assess how well it’s supporting you over time.

Consider asking yourself these questions periodically and making adjustments if needed:

  1. Have goals for each relationship been met?
  2. Are there any relationships that need to change or be adjusted?
  3. Are there any areas I wish were represented differently or more?
  4. Do I feel heard and supported by the members of my squad?
  5. When was the last time I evaluated my squad and its purpose?
  6. What is my biggest need right now? Is it being met?

There’s a famous (and wonderful) African proverb that says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” We believe this sums up squad-care quite nicely; it might take a little time and effort, but the payoff and sense of community can be huge. Who is part of your squad, and how do they support you? We’d love to hear from you on Twitter with #SquadCare!

References:

Elizarde-Miller, T. (2018). When self-care becomes collective care. Oregon Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence. Retrieved from: https://www.ocadsv.org/blog/when-self-care-becomes-collective-care

Harris-Perry, M. (2017). How #squadcare saved my life. Elle. Retrieved from: https://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/news/a46797/squad-care-melissa-harris-perry/

Ilyas, M. & Cordero Velásquez, T. (2017). Collective care in human rights funding: A political stand. OpenGlobalRights. Retrieved from: https://www.openglobalrights.org/collective-care-in-human-rights-funding-poli/

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Lisa Famularo is a Career Consultant in UConn’s Center for Career Development with a focus on the College of Liberal Arts & Sciences (CLAS). In this role, Lisa coaches CLAS students and alumni in major and career exploration, professional development, and employment-obtaining strategies. Lisa also works with CLAS faculty, staff, alumni, and employers to develop collaborative programming and identify networking and employment opportunities for CLAS students. Lisa holds a Master of Arts degree in Higher Education Student Affairs from UConn and a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration from Ithaca College. Lisa can be found on Twitter at @lisamfamularo.

Ana Clara Blesso serves as Assistant Director for Experiential Learning at UConn’s Center for Career Development. In this role, Ana Clara serves as the departmental lead on internship and co-op-related programming, initiatives, and information. Ana Clara teaches the Center’s two internship courses, plans University-wide events related to experiential learning, and partners with fellow UConn offices and teams to develop robust on-campus internships. Prior to her time at UConn, Ana Clara worked as Assistant Director of Fairfield University’s Career Planning Center. She is a National Certified Counselor, an AAUW Salary Negotiation Facilitator, and has a Master of Arts in Counseling from Wake Forest University, where she also serves as an online practitioner instructor for career counseling courses. She can be found on Twitter at @anaclarablesso.

 

Building Your Tribe Through Strategic Relationships

By Erica Lake, University of South Carolina
College of Hospitality, Retail & Sport Management

Does it seem like everyone has a mentor but you? Are you wondering how to take your career to the next level? This blog post will focus on methods to build relationships that provide mentorship experiences throughout your career; and many are through associations like the Southern Association of Colleges & Employers (SoACE) and the National Association of Colleges & Employers (NACE).  When thinking about mentorship, it is often thought of as a one-to-one relationship that is formal and over a long period.  In my recent professional experience, I have been stretched to re-imagine different aspects of mentorship.  In essence, the foundation of mentorship begins with a relationship.  We will explore how to build strategic relationships through formal mentors, peer-to-peer relationships and short-term interactions that can positively influence your professional career. We will also explore ways to make new professional connections that can affect your career through storytelling. In addition, you can learn how to incorporate mentoring techniques during your interactions with students to contribute to their success. I hope that by the end of this blog, you will have a few tools for finding your next mentor.

What is mentorship? Levinson, Darrow, Klein, McKee (1978) describe it as “Career advancement and psycho-social support.”  Based on my experience, mentorship can apply to almost any area in your life.  Mentoring has also been equated to coaching and helping someone along.  Serving as a father (or mother) figure who sponsors and guides a younger person.

It’s important to note that I have had both male and female mentors of different races and ages.  The most important aspect of the mentorship relationship in my opinion is common ground and similar interests.

Mentoring is described as a two-way or reciprocal process, which provides benefits also for the mentor. For instance, the work of Levinson et al. (1978) found that mentoring rejuvenates mentors’ careers since it enables them to assist and shape the professional and personal development of mentees. According to Douglas (1997), other benefits for the mentor include increased confidence, personal fulfillment and assistance on projects. In relation to the benefits for the organization, Murray and Owen (1991) identify several benefits of formal mentoring programs including increased productivity, improved recruitment efforts, motivation of senior staff, and enhancement of services offered by the organization.

One of our USC Sport and Entertainment doctoral students,  Evelyn Jara-Pazmino, is researching mentorship in the sports industry. She is researching mentorship for international student athletes and likened mentorship to having a coach to help you assimilate to the culture of the team and the environment.  The message in numerous professional articles is clear that there are benefits to mentoring relationships.  Everyone wins: the mentor and mentee.

How do I get started?  Find someone, with whom you have a connection and similar goals. Some tips suggest working hard to be noticed.  While I agree, I also believe you can proactively ask to connect on LinkedIn or grab coffee.

What do I need to know?  Check out these tips for the mentoring relationship from the LeanIn organization.

Remember to value your mentor’s time by asking thoughtful questions about challenges you are facing.  Do not just use it as time to catch up.  View feedback as a gift.  Women are more likely to receive vague feedback than men, which disadvantages us at promotion time.  2/3 men said senior leaders helped them advance compared to 1/3 women.

According to Sheryl Sandberg, mentorship and sponsorship are crucial to career progression.  Mentorship can often evolve into sponsorship, as illustrated by Larry Summers’ decision to hire Sandberg early in her career.  She suggests, instead of asking someone to mentor you, focus on making a good impression on that person and allowing a relationship to develop naturally.  A track record of performance and openness to feedback can help motivate mentors to invest further in developing protégés.  Loyalty and honesty are key characteristics of the relationship between mentor and protégé.  When protégés reach a position of power, they can both “pay it back” by helping their mentor when needed and “pay it forward” by helping others.

I love this video from Sheryl Sandberg’s movement #LeanInTogether.  It discusses how mentorship has impacted celebrities in their career: http://money.cnn.com/2016/06/23/technology/sheryl-sandberg-lean-in-new-campaign/index.html

My Mentorship Journey

It’s story time.  When I began my professional career, I didn’t think that I had ever had a mentor, but now when I look back, I realize that I actually had my first mentor at a young age.  As I’ve already mentioned, mentorship needs change over time.  My first recollection of a mentoring relationship was when I was in junior high and a librarian helped me to perfect an essay that I wrote for an essay competition.  We worked tirelessly on it for a while and I was successful.  He coached me throughout the process.  Then in high school, I participated in a speech competition and won at the local level.  When preparing for the regional competition, I had a mentor who introduced me to Toastmasters International and helped me to prepare for the next level of competition.  In my professional career, various supervisors have served as mentors.  And in my current job, I was able to secure a mentor by asking a question in the Director’s Think Tank at the 2017 SoACE Conference.  I’d recently began a new job and wanted information about strategic planning.  I made a comment during the group discussion and talked with this thought leader after the session.  During our conversation, he offered to continue to conversation with me in a mentoring capacity.  This was an amazing opportunity for me and I am very grateful for his generosity!  We speak by phone periodically and he has been very helpful to me in this new role.  I would describe our relationship as a more formal mentorship.

How do you take advantage of short-term mentorship opportunities?  Sign up for consulting sessions offered during the SoACE and NACE conferences.  These conversations with unbiased professionals can provide valuable advice and insight in a short time frame.  They can help plant seeds and move you forward in your career.

Get involved through a Knowledge Group or committee.  These opportunities have provided me with a network of professionals that I can call throughout the country, if I have a question about a certain aspect of the profession.  It is an invaluable resource.  The more you are involved, the more opportunities will be presented to you.

What about you?  What experiences have you had?  What are you trying to accomplish? 

Mentorship seems to be chic now.  What are celebrities and industry executives saying?

“As they say, friendship is essential to the soul.  Find out where people are that you want to meet.  Share advice, talk about having further conversations.  Develop friendships with like minds.  Put yourself out there and share your personal thoughts.” – Steve Harvey

When seeking a mentor, we have to be genuinely curious about the other person’s path and be interested in them.
Former NFL and Super Bowl Head Coach, Tony Dugee, says [we should] think of others before ourselves.

Boeing Executive, Elizabeth Lund, says “as I’ve progressed throughout my career, I think I’ve learned that the key to success is people – your peers, your friends, and your colleagues.”  She tells about a mentor who helped her to be selected to attend MIT on the company to receive her master’s degree in engineering.  This mentor also sponsored her and when she returned, she was asked to take on top assignments and get noticed by leadership.

Who are the individuals who can help you?  Who can you help?  Care and be a friend.  Just ask…informational interviewing, job shadowing, make connections, grab lunch and coffee.

My Mentor’s Story

I asked my current mentor about his experience with mentorship and he shared that a professor saw something in him.  The professor believed in him and encouraged him to pursue a PhD.  He didn’t have any ideas about a research topic and the professor shared that he could help.  He shared that an association that he was involved in could use some specific data and that he would help him throughout the process.  This data was used for his dissertation.  This was a powerful relationship.  He also shared some guidance from Kuz and Posner’s Leadership Challenge.  Mentors share a vision and think about how they can help.  They provide encouragement, but also challenge the process.  They help to breakdown barriers and ask hard questions.  They also empower you to act.

In terms of peer-to-peer relationships, these relationships can be just as powerful as formal mentorships.  Let’s call them frentors.  We often discount these relationships, but they are legitimate learning opportunities.

  • Most of us with a higher education and student affairs background know the value of peer leadership and mentoring. In a recent University 101 workshop, I was reminded of how effective peer mentoring is in the University 101 classroom environment.  This concept also works for professionals.  We can learn a significant amount from our peers who are going through similar experiences.  They can be peers who work in the same field or different fields.  For example, a former colleague put together a monthly lunch for like-minded women. It is so valuable to have this outlet to connect personally and professionally.  Additionally, a former staff member of mine gives me advice on educational goals that I have set.  Relationships evolve and it’s important to keep the lines of communication open because roles can often reverse.
  • During one of my listening tours, in which I sought advice from leaders whom I admire, a leader suggested that I develop my own personal board of directors.  These are individuals who can advise on various topics, and will call you on your BS. I’ve been able to do that primarily through colleagues that I met at the NACE Management Leadership Institute in 2013. These women don’t work or live near me, but we connect a few times a year in person, by phone and online.  These relationships are important.
  • Be sure to get involved in associations and meet people.  It’s so important to have people you can call for advice.  It may be related to a new job or learning from others based on your personal and professional goals.  Some of the people I’ve met have asked me to be involved in regional and national committees. There are people that you may meet that can help you to progress into volunteer roles with boards after you get involved.  The sky is the limit!

Which colleagues and friends could you agree to serve as a sounding board for one another?

 

Frentors at NACE 2016
SoACE 2017

Short-term interactions

  • Someone once recommended that I never eat alone. Although it can be costly, meet people for coffee and lunch.  Consider it an investment.  Go to your colleagues’ offices for meetings to learn about them and make personal connections.
  • At various points in my career, I have interviewed people in leadership roles and asked for feedback and their opinions on career-related topics. Although it may be a little awkward, no one has ever said no.  Even if we don’t establish a relationship, at least they know who I am and what I’m trying to accomplish.  It makes an impression.
At the CEIA Conference 2018 I made new connections and received valuable advice from a new mentor.

 Which events or activities can you capitalize on to build meaningful connections and relationships?

Go up and chat after a panel or formal presentation.  Make a comment about something that stood out to you during the talk and ask if you can connect on LinkedIn etc.  Keep the conversation going!

Social media Utilize LinkedIn and social to make connections.  Comment on articles and share the stories that inspire you. Create digital tribes.  Be interested in what others are doing both in person and online.  Learn from others and share your experiences.

Give back One of my mentors gave me great advice.   Get involved. Give Back. Let’s share with one another.  She told me that she appreciated our friendship.  How awesome is that?

Volunteer event in which I mentored students

How can we mentor our students and help others?

  • In the College of Hospitality, Retail and Sport Management, we are thinking about ways to connect our students with mentors and help them to reach their goals.
  • I am currently coaching one of our students who wants to move to DC, Nashville or Atlanta to do event planning. She invited me to coffee.  I shared my network and we’ve been emailing about her progress.  I want her to succeed and I was happy to help.  Additionally, others were also happy to help… You have to ASK.
  • As you mentor students, I’d encourage you to use the framework of the NACE Career Readiness Competencies. Think about how we can advise students to gain these meaningful experiences.
  • Now I’m thinking about additional ways to encourage our internship supervisors to serve as mentors for our students during their work experiences.
  • Check out the 8 key areas that students need to master to reach their career goals.  These are great topics to discuss in mentorship conversations.


The
National Association of Colleges and Employers Career Competencies are:

  • Critical Thinking/Problem Solving
  • Oral/Written Communications
  • Teamwork/Collaboration
  • Digital Technology
  • Leadership
  • Professionalism/Work Ethic
  • Career Management.
  • Global/Intercultural Fluency

In the words of the African proverb, it takes a village.  Let’s build our tribe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdOL5DwVveA

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Erica Lake is the director of the Center for Corporate Engagement in the USC College of Hospitality, Retail and Sport Management. The majority of her 15-year career at USC has been spent building corporate relationships to connect employers with students for internships and full-time positions. Through career fairs, on-campus interviews and specialized networking events, she’s worked diligently to facilitate professional connections.
Lake serves on the 2017-2018 board of directors for the Southern Association of Colleges and Employers (SoACE) as the director for targeted knowledge groups.

Lake is a 2013 graduate of the National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE) Management Leadership Institute and a 2014 graduate of Leadership Columbia. A two-time graduate of Mississippi State University with a Bachelor of Arts in Communications (public relations) and a Master of Science in Counselor Education (student affairs), Lake has presented on best practices in employer relations at both the NACE annual meeting and the Southern Association of Colleges and Employers annual conference. Lake enjoys traveling, reading, and spending time with her husband and three children. She is an avid SEC basketball and football enthusiast.

 

Works Cited

  • Levinson, Darrow, Klein, McKee, (1978). Levinson’s Eras Model of Adult Development
  • Jara-Pazmino, (2018). Mentorship as a socialization tactic in the sport industry. University of South Carolina Sport and Entertainment Venues of Tomorrow Conference Presentation.
  • Heimann and Pittenger, (1996). The Impact of Formal Mentorship on Socialization and Commitment of Newcomers.
  • Saks and Ashford, (1997). Organizational Socialization: Making Sense of the Past and Present as a Prologue for the Future.
  • Sandberg, (2016). Women Need to Mentor Each Other.
  • Hansford, Brian C. and Ehrich, Lisa C. and Tennent, Lee (2004). Formal Mentoring Programs in Education and other Professions: A Review of the Literature. Educational Administration Quarterly 40(4):pp. 518-540.